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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in crowgargoyle's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, September 12th, 2015
11:21 pm
Yes universe, I get it, I fucking lose... Thanks for the reminder...
Wednesday, November 12th, 2014
2:40 pm
Alright emotions... knock this crap off.
I need to really learn to keep my emotions and desires in check. I have a nasty habit of falling for women who are unavailable for whatever reason. Then, when I get myself settled and back to a neutral state, the woman does or says something and my emotions decide it's time to kick my ass.

What the frak self? Why do you keep doing this to me? Damn it.

I think that I would probably be more stable if I had a serious relationship in place right now, but even that's not a guaranteed.
Friday, August 29th, 2014
3:00 pm
Time for another update
Before we get to the more mundane life update... Well, I have no idea if anybody out there actually reads my rather infrequent posts here, but that few of you that do might be in for some really interesting things here, because I've decided that if I'm going to chronicle some of the more interesting things that I have been doing with erotic hypnosis and BDSM related hypnosis here, and thus I'm going to set up a filter for it. Of course, if you want to be on that filter, please let me know.

Ok, so, I've had a number of things go sideways in my life lately. In May, both Renee and Elisha broke things off with me, both of them citing that they and I had simply drifted too far apart for things to be a serious relationship anymore. Elisha even brought me a bottle of rum to drown my sorrows with, which was an interesting and thoughtful touch (the rum was Kraken Black Rum just fyi).

In June, I started a new job working for TiVo. *Does the happy 6 figure income dance* They work me pretty hard, but I am really enjoying it. Between the long work hours and the hour-and-a-half commute each direction, I'm tired and burned out far too often, so I am mostly hiding from the world and recovering on my days off.

Somehow, I'm still finding time to game though...

Tuesday nights, I scoot from the office over to Adobe Systems office to play the card game "Jyhad" (Later editions called it "Vampire: The Eternal Struggle"). It's a collectable card game that has been out of print for a couple of decades now, but you can still find it on eBay (I actually have a bunch of cards for it from way back in the day, so I have just stuck with what I already have and haven't bothered buying new cards).

Wednesday nights I've resurrected an even older game. Specifically the guys at the Union Landing Games Workshop store and I have started playing the GW fantasy naval wargame "Man O' War" which was circa nineteen-eighty-something or nineteen-ninety-something. In my opinion, it's one of the best games that GW ever did, and I'm glad to be playing it with interested folks in my area.

Thursday nights bring me back to Adobe Systems for our board game night. We play whatever game happens to come to hand that day, and between my collection of games, and the games of the others at the group, I think we could go for several years without playing the same game twice.

Sunday afternoons, I'm helping a friend rekindle his enjoyment of Warhammer 40,000.

So, yeah... Gaming is happening on occasion. Though oddly, I've just been too tired and preoccupied to attend my regular Friday night LARP.

I guess that sorta covers it for now anyway.
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
8:07 pm
Sorry for the cryptic update
This is for one person in particular, if you have to think about it, then it's not you.

I still honor the promise that you asked me to make, even though it hurts me to do it.

I'm still here, and It hangs from my desk, waiting for the day you ask for it back.

I don't think you will read this, and I don't think that anybody who does will know what I'm talking about, or who you are, but I just had to say those things. Put them out to the shadows and the winds, in the hopes that you will hear, you will know, and when you heal, you will return.

Your friend.
Tuesday, January 11th, 2011
2:26 am
Still not dead
Hi folks.

I know you're out there, and I'm pretty sure that there are a few of you that have been wondering as to what has become of me.

Well, I'm still living in Concord, I'm still with Renee, I'm running the gaming department for BayCon again this year (This makes year 10 by the way), I'm working for Walmart.com babysitting the website in operations on the night shift.

Not really sure what else to say.
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
9:48 am
So, I'm filing a police report online, and I see a section on the website that just blew my mind... And I cut & paste below:

Don't have an email address or a computer?? No problem. Simply call 3-1-1 (outside of San Francisco 415-701-2311).


Staff is available 24 x 7 x 365

Staff can assist you in over 175+ languages

Now, come on guys... Seriously... did you f*cking THINK before you put a section like THAT up on your WEBSITE?

Current Mood: Choking on Stupid
7:51 am
A memo...
To whom it may concern... DIE IN A F*CKING FIRE! Not only did you ruin an otherwise enjoyable night of clubbing for me, but you stole a number of irreplaceable items (Not because of monitary value, but because of the hours of labor that I put in to the painstaking detail that I went into when painting the models). And really, did you have to break THREE windows of my jeep? Wouldn't ONE have been enough?
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010
5:22 am
Time to find alternate employment.
get me out of this chicken$*&T outfit! Yet another come to Jeebus meeting? REALLY?!?!

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I need to find a job that ain't here!

Current Mood: stressed
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
10:54 pm
As if I needed another reason to love San Francisco
Westboro Baptist Church vs. Absurdist Counter-Protesters!


What do YOU think the final score is in this epic battle?
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
12:20 pm
Abject, crushing failure, thy name is AT&T...
The severance check that was, by all accounts that I had heard thus far supposed to be arriving today, of course, has not. This has left me screwed in a rather large number of ways... And now I am hearing that we MIGHT get them by the 15th, or POSSIBLY the end of the month...... But my rent is past due, and my car is going to take $1340 to get out of the shop NOW... Abject, crushing failure, thy name is AT&T.
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
9:41 am
2010! In my office! NOW!
Alright 2010, I was giving you a fair shake, not pre-judging you, and trying to make the best of you... a $200 dollar tow and what is likely going to be another $600-$800 worth of clutch/transmission work later... 2010, you may officially consider this your first warning towards termination.
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
10:50 am
It's the end of the job as we know it, and I feel fine.
Well, the day has come that, in an hour or two I will no longer be working for AT&T. I have made a number of friends here, as well as a few... well I can't call them enemies because I don't care enough about them to think of them that way.

I have had good times and stressful times here, and sitting here for the last time is bringing their memories flooding back to me.

Memories of a manhole cover in a farmer's field, and the trash fire that warped it and dropped it through the fiber bundle beneath it, taking Chico off the internet map for a couple of days.

Memories the silliness of my coworkers, screaming flying monkeys, cubicles filled with balloons (Or a ten foot diameter weather balloon), overhead cabinets filled with bouncy balls that were rigged to dump out on the poor soul who opened it, or entire cubes wrapped in cling-film.

Memories of bad management decisions that made my job harder because they wouldn't actually fix a problem if they could find a way to slap a band-aid on it.

Memories of burn-out and stress, 58 hour weeks when not a calender day went by that I was not in this office, and days when I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to actually pick up that phone again.

Memories of customers who threatened my job, called me a liar, challenged my technical competency, and even in one case threatened my life.

Memories of customers who called me their 'personal hero', 'the savior of their network', or their 'good luck charm'.

Memories of fighting like hell with persnickety equipment, only to emerge metaphorically battered and bloodied, but triumphant.

I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss these people.

Time to turn the page and start a new chapter.

Current Mood: listless
Thursday, December 10th, 2009
2:27 pm
An observation about endings...
Nothing quite drives home the fact that a layoff really is happening quite like clearing 10 years worth of ones life out of their soon to be ex-desk.

Current Mood: pensive
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
8:09 am
A shining light has left the world.
At approximately 6:15pm yesterday, Alex Baker, a fine friend of rapier wit and roguish style, succumbed to cancer and passed away.

I looked forward to every game we were in together, and the laughs we shared over pints of cider at Mr. Pickwick's.

You will be missed Alex, sleep well.

Current Mood: sad
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
1:57 pm
And on a completely unrelated note...
A friend of mine pointed this video out to me today, and I have the feeling that a number of you out there in the world would probably find it exceptionally cool. I know I did. Anybody that can take the words of Carl Sagan and Steven Hawking and turn it in to a really interesting musical number is alright with me.
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
11:46 am
As if any child of mine was going to play with Barbies anyway... but damn...
Right... Just in case there was ANY doubt or wiggle room in ANYBODY'S mind about Mattel's Barbie line of toys trying to give girls an unrealistic and screwed up view of themselves and the world around them... Let me introduce PALM BEACH SUGAR DADDY KEN!

This has just hit the top of my disgust-o-meter with a vengeance! Now they are not only exposing young, impressionable girls to an unrealistic and unattainable beauty goal for them to torture themselves with, but now they are teaching them that using men for their money is the proper way to live their lives.

My disgust with this... product... is so complete that I think that will not be purchasing anything by Mattel for myself or any children that may find their way in to my life.

Current Mood: infuriated
Monday, October 26th, 2009
8:19 am
Something I realized about Combichrist concerts
If you didn't come away with at least a couple of bruises, YOU WEREN'T THERE!

I, on the other hand was definitely there. As is witnessed by the bruises on my left foot, right forearm, right side, and left collar bone.

Current Mood: Bruised, but GOOD!
Monday, October 19th, 2009
12:24 pm
A Definition of 'Adding insult to injury'.
After receiving our 60 day lay-off notice last Friday, we are now having to learn a new ticketing system today... The ticketing system of the group that we are losing our jobs to.
Friday, October 16th, 2009
1:58 pm
The axe has fallen.
Ladies and gentlemen, as of December 15th, I am out of a job.

I am now frantically searching for another job. Any assistance that can be given would be much appreciated.

You can find a copy of my current resume here: http://home.pacbell.net/fbeyer/resume/

Current Mood: stressed
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
3:07 pm
WTF mister customer man, SERIOUSLY WTF!
So, a customer calls in, (Hitherto referred to as Tard-Monkey) and he is complaining about the speed of his email delivery.

Tard-Monkey has no idea as to why, when he sends out email from the server at his location, his email often does not arrive at some domains for over an hour. I politely explain to him that there is no way to guarantee that his mail will arrive instantaneously at it's destination.

Tard-Monkey now decides to blame our DNS servers, saying that his zone file is complete on one of them, but not on the other. I politely tell him that the server that he says DOES have a complete zone file for him is only configured to EXACTLY MIRROR the other server, so it is not possible to have a complete file on the mirror, but not the primary server. For some reason, I decided to humor Tard-Monkey and take a look... sure enough, everything is exactly as it's supposed to be, and Tard-Monkey is talking out his ass... no shock there.

Then Tard-Monkey decides that he needs to set up PTR records for a couple of IP addresses in his network, and he wants to know how to format it when he emails our DNS team to get it implemented. So, Like a sane and literate person I pay a quick visit to our friend Google, and get the information. I suggest politely that he do the same, it being easier and more complete to actually study it himself, this avoiding any miscommunication between him and I...

Tard-Monkey counters by telling me that he does not have internet connectivity at his current location...

Really Tard-Monkey... REALLY!?! WTF...

Current Mood: aggravated
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